Your mom doesn’t think you look old. She thinks you look great!
You’re losing the hair on your head…
And “finding” it on your ears and eyebrows.
Can anyone explain why, after all this time, your eyebrows suddenly decided to grow their hair out? You're embarrassing yourselves, eyebrows!
Speaking of hair, you’re noticing more and more gray ones. Not enough to get your hair dyed, but enough to make you worry about when (or if) you should.
You may have even thought, “What if I color the grays with a permanent marker? Maybe that would work!”
You recently realized that — for the first time in your life —
you’re older than almost every major league baseball player.
Keep going, Bartolo Colon! Don't you quit on us, man. DON'T YOU QUIT ON US!