You’ve got to hear the one with the dog food.
“When I was 4 I collected dead flies and kept them in a little trinket box when I wasn’t playing with them. To make it worse, I named all of the insect corpses after my brother.”
Australia Channel 9
“When I asked my 4-year-old nephew what he wanted for lunch, he said, ‘People.’ I said that people weren’t food and he threw a fit.”
“My 4-year-old was in the tub, playing, when he told me he got pee in his mouth. When I asked him how he managed that, he pointed his penis upward and peed in his face. ‘Like that,’ he said.”