Monique DeMonaco at YourTango help us decipher why some of our off-duty habits might not be doing as much good as we think.
We’re all guilty of at least one of these . . .
Self-soothing is a natural human need and response to stress. Even newborns self-soothe
Stress has reached a national epidemic and just like any pain or discomfort, the natural human response is to avoid it and try to settle ourselves down and find comfort. Nearly everyone can benefit from some stress management and positive, healthy practices.
But beware, all are not created equal and even healthy self-soothing can become dangerous when taken to extremes.
Here are twelve examples of how you may be going to unhealthy extremes in order to self-soothe and unwind.
1. Exercising excessively.
You have to live under a rock to not know that exercise is essential to a healthy lifestyle.
It’s become a popular part of our culture and we are bombarded with “exercise lifestyle” messages. For many of us, it influences how we spend our money, engage in social activities, and even our fashion choices . . . think of how yoga pants have become a wardrobe staple when you participate in the latest local 5K fundraiser.
The problem comes when exercise becomes excessive, resulting in a problem rather than a solution.
Exercise can be tricky because it can become a socially acceptable way to engage in extreme behavior.
A general rule of thumb is 30+ minutes of cardio 3-6 days a week along with a sensible muscle-building program. If you are working out less than 10 hours a week, you are probably right where you need to be.
However, if your exercise routine is interfering with other important areas of your life, such as sleep and quality time in your relationships, you could have a problem.
I have known women who regularly cut their night’s sleep to 5 hours or less so they can exercise two or more hours before they begin their day.
High-quality restorative sleep is one of the best ways to stay healthy and combat stress - so don’t cut your zzz’s.
2. Wine-ing your way through life.
Soothing your stress away with a bottle of wine may bring temporary relief, but chances are, you will stress out even more when it wears off, leading to a vicious cycle.
You don’t have to become a teetotaler, though.
Some studies suggest that kicking back with a glass of wine or two can be beneficial when combined with positive social interactions.
But there is also new evidence that even moderate drinking can cause brain damage, like memory problems and dementia.
A good guideline for determining if your drinking habits are harmful is to ask yourself if you find that you “need” wine or another drink to relax. Because needing a drink is not a healthy way to manage stress.
In addition to that, if your interferes with your life, or if your doctors are concerned about your health as a result, it’s a problem.
3. Shopping until you feel like dropping.
There is nothing wrong with an occasional bout of “retail therapy,” but when it becomes your “go to” method to self-soothe, it’s a problem.
Shopping can give you a quick “high”, and it can certainly distract you, but in the long run it creates more problems and adds to your stress. Which then, of course, means you need more self-soothing.
If you find yourself randomly shopping more than 6 times a year, consider the possibility that you have a problem.
4. Eating your feelings.
Many of us were comforted with food as children.
Every week, a client reports some form of the, “Don’t cry honey, here is a cookie” rendition from their childhood. Is it any wonder over 50% of adults and nearly a third of children in the U.S. are overweight?
If you struggle with overeating, for one week keep a journal of what and when you eat . . . every time, no cheating. You may be very surprised at the patterns that emerge.
5. Grabbing another latte . . . and another and another.
All coffee, even decaf, is a stimulant. Even though it may feel like it’s relaxing you, it raises your heart rate, increases your blood pressure and puts you on high alert.
Back away from the caffeine and grab a flavored water or herbal tea instead.
6. Checking out by checking in with social media.
It’s easy to distract yourself with the latest Facebook post by watching the rest of the world showcasing only their best “filtered” self or by becoming obsessed with the “perfect” Pinterest projects of the wildly talented and carefree.
While a stint on social media may distract you, it’s a time-killer and usually leaves people feeling unfulfilled at best - and like a slacker at worst.
7. Making takeout a habit.
There is nothing wrong with a quick takeout meal even once a week, but it’s just too easy to get into the habit.
The outcome can easily undermine a healthy diet and rack up expenses - all leading to more stress.
Instead, cook a real meal and take time to enjoy it . . . better yet, enjoy sharing it with others when you can.
There are some great options for meal delivery kits, such…
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